Wedding Sermon For My Sister

I have had several requests for the wedding sermon that I wrote for Rebecca's wedding. Here it is. 

Just a quick disclaimer. I make no claims of originality. Some of it is stuff that is original, some of it is lifted from  wedding sermon's I've heard or read, some of it (especially the quotes on marriage), is stuff I've come across in studying for a sermon on marriage that I did awhile back. The one source I will highlight is the Meaning of Marriage, I had Rebecca and Brenton read it for Premarital counseling, and would recommend it to every couple that is dating or married. I hope you find this helpful, while understanding it was written for a specific event.

The Scripture Passages that it is based on and were read before the sermon are Ephesians 5:22-33, and Colossians 3:12-17.

Brenton, Rebecca, today is one of the most important days of your life, and the most important day in your relationship. With these vows, you are making a commitment. To each other, to God, to all of your friends and family members, to the world at large. That you will love one another, honor one another, care for one another, seek the others good, do what’s best for one another, and find joy in their joy, as you live together in holy marriage, forsaking all others, as long as you both shall live.

Marriage is about a promise. In Marriage, two become one flesh. Becoming one flesh implies a covenant promise. Today you covenant, with God, and each other…to leave father and mother, and join together…and become one flesh.  This is not a contract… contracts are breakable…they are a commitment between you… and God… we see this from the beginning…When God brought Adam to Eve, he blessed marriage and declared, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Brenton, Rebecca, this is now your primary human relationship, the most important human relationship in your life No other person has a claim that supersedes the claims that you have on each other. Marriage involves a covenant promise before God, in which you transfer your primary allegiance from your parents and siblings, to each other. You leave you leave your father and mother, your brothers and sisters, and unite together, in relationship with God and each other, and begin to build a new household…a new life together…till death do your part….  Today you make a date with destiny, you’re committing to God, yourself, and each other that you will hold fast to the other…and that ten, 20, 50 years from now, with the Lords help, you  will be holding fast, till death do you part.

Marriage is about a promise…but... marriage is about creating a place where we can know true relationship…in Genesis, we’re told, God created man (humanity), in his own image. In the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. After creating Adam, Man, the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Matthew Henry noted that "Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled on by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him." Then God brought the two together…The wonderful postscript that we see in scripture after God brought them together is…The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Marriage is designed to be a one flesh union, where you can be venerable, on every level. One of our deepest desires in friendship is to be accepted for who we are, understood for who we are, loved for who we are and known without shame, received and approved. We long to be able to be completely venerable and intimate in every area of life. And God designed us this way, and he ordained marriage to be a place where the longing is fulfilled. Where two lives, two hearts, two minds, two bodies, will become one flesh, and thereby complement each other, and build up each other, and seek each other’s good above their own... in true relationship.

But even more than that, ultimately, marriage is about something that is bigger than a covenant, as huge as covenant is, and it’s about something that’s bigger than our need for deep relationship and friendship and intimacy. Ultimately marriage is a divinely created picture of the gospel. In Ephesians 5, which Nathan read for us, we see something interesting…we see Paul recite God’s words on marriage in Genesis  2 “For this reason …” But then, what does Paul say? “This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.” What’s he mean by that? The word mystery shows up several times throughout his New Testament letters, and not once does it mean something incomprehensible or impossible to understand. Instead, Paul uses it to refer to a truth that God kept hidden for a time, but now has revealed. Now, Paul applies the term to marriage, and this he says, is a profound mystery, a mega-mystery…an extraordinarily great, wonderful, profound truth that can be understood only with the help of God’s Holy Spirit. And what is the secret? What is this mystery? He is taking about Christ and the church, referring back to what he said in verse 25, Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. IN short, the mystery is not simply the fact of marriage per se; it is the message that what husbands should do for their wives is what Christ did to bring us into union with himself.

And what did he do? He gave himself up for her. He died for her…marriage is a window into the gospel…as we see how the son of God, equal with God, gave up his glory, and took on our human nature…and then…Having lived the life we should have lived, perfectly, sinlessly, he humbled himself even more…by willing going to the cross…dying the death we should have died, in our place, for our sins, so that we could be united with him (Romans 6:5), and take in his nature (2peter 1:4). He gave up his glory and power and became a servant. He died to his own interests and looked to meet our needs instead (Romans 15:1-3). Jesus sacrificial death brought us into deep union with him if we turn to him in faith…that’s not just the key to understand marriage, but to living… This is why Paul can tie the original statement about marriage in genesis 2 to Jesus and the church… he saw that when God designed marriage, he already had Christ and the church in mind, and was giving us a picture through which we would be able to see the gospel (Editorial note-This point is lifted from The Meaning of Marriage)

Your marriage is therefore, a pointer to the gospel, it’s a picture of the gospel lived out, with the husband and wife each take a role, serving and being served… submitting and being submitted to…picturing the ultimate marriage. As Christians, you have the incredible privilege of knowing the ultimate purpose for your marriage. The purpose of marriage goes beyond personal fulfillment. It’s not about making you happy all the time. The biblical purpose of marriage is not us-centered. It's God's centered. Your marriage is meant to point to the truth that Christ gave his all for his bride the church, and that one day, he will return for his bride the church…C.J. Mahaney noted that…By the grace of God, your marriage is meant to be the best echo, the most faithful reflection of that relationship you can possibly be. It’s about being genuinely united in a strong, godly, intimate relationship that echoes the one between Christ and the Church.  

Allot of marriages struggle because they do not see their marriage as profound, mysterious or amazing. They only see themselves as two married people.  It is all too common to have a marriage centered on you, your spouse, your kids, your goals… how it makes you feel… marriage is a picture of the gospel…see this… and let it shape how you approach your marriage...

So, having said these things about the permanency and purpose of marriage…What should your marriage look like….What should be the things that define and shape your marriage, and this covenant that you now enter? Grace. The garments of grace. Your marriage must be clothed in the garments of grace. Today you stand here, in all the splendor of wedding garb…and it’s wonderful, and exciting and joyful.

And on a wedding day, our clothes are chosen carefully to reflect the importance of the day in your lives… But as important as these clothes are for one special day, they aren’t the clothes of everyday life; they are not the clothes that are needed to deal with the ups and downs, the struggles, and mountaintops, of marriage. For those “other” days, Paul gives us some guidance as to the garb that we should wear… clothes worn in response to Christ’s love, modeled on Christ’s love, and empowered by Christ’s love… Paul lays this out in Colossians…which Patty read for us…

First, be clothed in Christ…This passage begins and ends with your identity as people whose primary allegiance is to Christ. It calls you to remember first of all, whose you are and who you are to live for, who you are to glorify with your marriage. Think about the structure of the passage. The first thing Paul says is, as God’s chosen people. Later he says; forgive as the lord forgave you. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks -to God the Father through him. Your first love, the foundation of your life, the one that gives you hope, and joy, and confidence and assurance… the one that fills the hole at the center of your soul, must be Christ. You are to live as God’s people…as God's chosen people… People whose lives are built on and molded by the gospel; by the sacrificial, giving love that Christ showed us… Be clothed in Christ… individually, and in terms of the marriage. Make him the center…Ecclesiastes tells us, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecc 4:12)”… If Christ is the center of your marriage… it will be strong…

So how do you make Christ the center? It’s all through this passage… we remind ourselves of the gospel… forgive as Christ forgave you… Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. The words of verse 16 point the way. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. Get into the word, learn what it teaches. Learn what it shows you about God’s incredible love and mercy and grace. Be in worship together.  Find a church where you can plug in together and be fed on God’s word…and as you build your life on his word…it will reshape you and cause you to live for his glory together. Be clothed in Christ.

But second, in light of that… He says…put on Compassion. Literally, compassion means "a heart of pity." Compassion is an inner attitude you each have toward the other — a fullness of tender caring for and about the other’s vulnerabilities and strengths which will overflow into how you treat each other, in public & in private.

Moreover, he says, put on Kindness. On those days when you come home from a horrible day of training… and your CO was the devil himself… on those days that all you want is to be left alone… and your spouse says…honey…when that happens… and when you’re the snapped at one… show kindness, seek to their good as you deal with each others’ weaknesses and sore spots.

What else? Humility. This one’s essential. Pride will ruin a marriage faster than you can believe. Pride makes you selfish. It keeps you from owning up to your mistakes. It makes you say, I’m better than you… it makes you compete with each other… from here on out… you’re not competing with each other… your competing alongside each other… as you strive to accomplish all that God has for you together… you don’t need to say “I’m better”, I’m tougher… I’m stronger… who cares? Your working for the same ends… the glory of God through your marriage. Pride makes you strive against rather than alongside… Now, conversely, what does humility do? Humility recognizes the others equal status, recognizing that each has needs, plans, hopes, & values which are just as important as your own. It raises the other up, and values them over your own interest.

Brent… Paul nails us husbands on the chin when he lays out the level of humble love we should show. For you…this means that you are called to demonstrate the selfless humble care and sacrifice that Jesus shows toward the church in how you relate to Rebecca… And right now you may be saying, of course, she’s my wife, “just as Christ died for the church…I’d die for her. I’d do anything for her”. Great…but here’s the real question that you will face most days: are you sacrificing your comfort for her on a daily basis. Are you putting aside your wants to meet her needs on a daily basis? Or do you demand things be your way? Do you look for your wants and needs or do you seek to meet her needs and desires?  Show humble love to her… be totally committed to her wellbeing. Seek her good always. Seek to lead her to God, seek her best, even when you’re in a bad mood, or she’s being grouchy…. Rebecca, before you think, I’m off the hook, remember that you are called to demonstrate the respect, submission, and devotion the church shows toward Jesus in how you relate to Brenton…

 Rebecca, hear what I’m saying… Respect…nothing takes the wind out of a guys sails than feeling like he’s not respected in his own home…Guys are wired to want respect, show him the love and respect he needs Sub-mission- think about submission… at its root, submission is not… oppressed, but sub… below…the mission… your to be working in ways that support him and build him up… Devotion… steadfast, loyal commitment… to being by his side…. Care for him, when he’s wounded. Seek to build him up, and send him out, stronger, more equipped by your love.

Remember…in Ephesians, there’s something amazing to see there. Everything Paul tells us about marriage starts with mutual submission... he says, here is the starting point…Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. That’s a two way street… submit to one another… humility allows you to do that…it allows you to seek the others complete happiness…and here’s the thing… Have you ever noticed that in the best marriages, both partners are seeking the good of each other? Submitting their hopes and dreams and happiness to the will of the other, and finding joy in the happiness of the other. I’ve noticed this allot. I’ve noticed that when someone starts to fall for someone else, they start doing research...they learned each other’s likes and dislikes. What bothers each other, what really offends and outrages them? And you did this…But you didn’t just want to learn what really bothers each other, you learned what delights each other. You learned what Brenton really likes… the way he likes his meat cooked… the things he likes to do as he works out… and you learned what she likes…and doesn’t like… how she needs... needs that cup of coffee… You learn what really pleases each other… The big things… and the little things. And what we’re you doing?

Tracing an arc…what is this arc… the will of your beloved….and then, without being asked, you begin to conform yourself to the will of your beloved, and so, you give up some big things, and you do little things… To an outsider, it seems like your hampering your freedom. But you’re not… because you’ve put your happiness into their happiness. You’re only happy if they’re happy… and while its submission…it’s not exploitation, because the other person is doing this for you, if the other person is adjusting their life to the authority of the other, in love of the will of the beloved.  That’s a love relationship (Disclaimer-this illustration was stolen from a Keller sermon I heard awhile back).

Brenton, Rebecca, put the hopes, dreams, and desires of each other first. Invert your happiness into each other’s happiness… If you do this, if your love is active, not passive. If it’s expressive, not unemotional. If it’s full of effort...driven ultimately by the knowledge that this is what Christ did for you on the cross, you will find that your marriage is strong…

Do you both see it? Submit out of reverence…show humble love...humility…Furthermore… Paul says, clothe yourselves in Gentleness. Gentleness is the garment of self-controlled person. Badgering, Nagging, Berating, Harassing, Heckling, Hounding, Complaining, and even a lot of teasing – are not gentleness. When gentleness is absent, you both have to on a helmet of wariness & the body armor of fearfulness… your always on guard… And how can you be intimate, on any level, emotionally, spiritually or physically, with someone in armor? When you put on gentleness, the other can take off the self-defensive armor. And when that happens, trust can thrive & intimacy can reside.

This brings us to the next thing Paul says to clothe yourself and your marriage with. Patience. This one’s huge. You cannot expect perfection from each other. Each one of you is flawed, each one of you has weaknesses…you have the ability to mess up, and be stubborn, and drive each other crazy…marriage takes patience. But it also takes teamwork. Bearing one another’s burdens in love. Brent, that means helping Rebecca when she’s boiling over from over-scheduling… it means when she’s sick, and struggling from lack of sleep, you step in and pick up the slack… and for the two of you… it means intentionality as you deal with the separation of deployment… seek to meet each others emotional and spiritual needs, even from afar… and someday…when the day comes, teamwork means that both parents, parent... marriage takes the efforts of both, working for the good of the relationship, and the family.

But, that’s not the end… Paul tell us…there’s more needed. You need to be forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you. There are some days, that the words that need to come out of your mouth are, I’m sorry... And when you’re the wronged one... you need to forgive. At that moment, when they say, I’m sorry, or even if they haven’t, you have one of two options. You can get your back up, you can push back, you can say, you did this, you can point and divide… or you can forgive.

But…what happens if you don’t? Or wont? It will ruin your marriage. What are the results of unforgiveness? Loss of communication…and therefore, loss of relationship. Communication is to a marriage is like fresh air to a body or oxygen to a flame - Without it your relationship will slowly suffocate. And there’s times that you’re so mad…. And you don’t want to forgive…but if you don’t it will cut the lines of communication… and that spells ruin…You need to be quick to forgive, resolve anger on the same day.  Paul, writing to the church in Ephesus, says "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (4:26-27). Deal with it quickly. Even if it means 3 AM...Early in our marriage, I did something that really irritated Veronique. Now, I don’t even remember what it was. But what I remember is this. I had to finish a paper. Or something…and I came to bed in the early morning, and she was still up. She couldn’t sleep, and she didn’t let me sleep till the issue was resolved. And I’ll always remember it…now we can’t even remember what the issue was… Don’t let things fester… Deal with it them quickly.

Now, how much should we forgive? Allot. To the measure of the cross… We are to forgive, as the Lord forgave us.  These words are so crucial. This gives us a tangible understanding of what it means to forgive. Scripture makes clear… We needed forgiveness. We all rebelled. We put something on the throne of our lives, and worshiped it rather than God, and then found, oh wait, I’m enslaved by my choices… what I thought would free me, has enslaved me…

When that happened, Christ didn’t just sit in heaven and bark commands to us... At a personal cost that we can never fully understand, He laid aside His rights as God, took on human flesh and became obedient to death on the cross…He who knew no sin was made sin for us… the king of kings, the creator, was actually was made sin for us, paying the debt we could not pay…by enduring that terrible moment where God the father and the God the son had their relationship, the relationship that they had had from all eternity, torn apart…when God the father turned his back on his son as his son hung on the cross… it was infinitely painful, but he did it, so that we might receive amazing, unfathomable forgiveness…if we turn to him in faith, freeing us from the rebellion that traps us, and making his children, people who relate to him, and to each other, in a whole new way…as new forgiven people… in Christ…he died, so that in Christ we might be the righteousness of God (2 Cor. 5:21)!

If this is your identity, if Christ is your foundation, if you build your marriage on him… if you model your forgiveness on his forgiveness…if you build your lives on him, and start with him as the center of your relationship, submitting to him, relying on him, looking to him, hoping in him, showing his forgiveness… your marriage will be strong…“The key to a marriage is simply re-enacting the gospel to each other, notes Tim Keller…You can talk about communication skills or other stuff, and they’re all good, but basically knowing how to forgive and knowing how to repent… If you both can forgive and repent, it doesn’t matter how different you are, you’ll be okay. Two Christians who are married can make it, no matter how incompatible… if you can repent and forgive".(Tim Keller, The Gospel Coalition National Conference, 2009)

This is quite a picture of forgiveness…and marriage…and yet Paul holds it up, and says “this is your model”… Forgive as the Lord forgave you…Brenton, Rebecca, forgive, in this manner.

And, over all these virtues, above all else, put one love. If compassion is marriage’s inner, garment, and if kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance and forgiveness are its active-wear shirts and pants and skirts and socks, then love is the overcoat. "On top of all these things," Paul says, "put on love."  Love keeps a marriage warm. Love should cloth your marriage…Ultimately, you’ll never find a greater picture of love than the picture is found in the cross… Christ showed his love, by dying for the church….And he calls out through the pages of scripture, through the scripture that should dwell in your hearts richly, love one another…like this. Brenton, put on this love… love my sister like that, model this love…and I promise you, your marriage will go well. Love her like this, and she will trust you, respect you, honor you, cherish you, because she will know, you have her best interest at heart. May your marriage be marked by sacrificial giving love.

And… Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace… peace is more than the absence of war…biblically… peace, shalom, is a sense of blessedness. It’s the right ordering of the world. It’s the way things should be. Lets his peace that passes all understanding, that calmness, that contentment that comes from him, rule in your lives. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace… And be thankful. Be thankful in the good times, and in the bad. Be thankful that whatever you face, you have each other, and him. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Today I charge you, remember your vows, remember your promises. Remind yourself of them often, but more, remind yourself of whose you are to be, remind yourself of the gospel, and remind yourself of the garments of grace, the characteristics that should clothe your marriage.

Pastors

Joe McKeever of Crosswalk writes a blog that I read fairly regularly. This week, he had a post entitled "10 Things About Pastors You Need to Know". Here is the list. I also included some of the sections that really stood out to me. You can read the whole thing here.

10. Pastors are human and more like you than you could ever imagine.

In a panel discussion, several pastors' wives were talking about the uniqueness of their ministries. One lady, married to a well-known evangelist, said, "I tell my man, 'Don't get too uppidity for me. I have seen you without your pants on!" Some of her hearers were offended by the remark. I wasn't. I know the point she was making: He is a flawed, fallible human like the rest of us, and not some saintly somebody unacquainted with temptation and failings.

Here's a test you will benefit from: Find the journals of some "truly great" man or woman of God from a past generation, and read them. Notice the paradox: at the very time the world is acclaiming him/her for holiness and Christlikeness, they themselves are struggling with inner conflicts of one kind or the other. They appear to have a leg up on intimacy with the Lord to the rest of the world, but to themselves, they are babies in the faith barely able to walk spiritually and completely at the mercy of a benevolent God. Far from refuting their holiness, the journal affirms it. But not in the way most people expect. Friend, you do not want as a pastor someone who has never sinned, never messed up, and never known the mercies of God. If you get a preacher who is sinless, you may discover him to be harsh and mean-spirited toward the likes of you; you are a sinner in need of grace, whereas he meets God as an equal. As Paul said, I speak as a fool.

9. Pastors are called by God to this work, otherwise they never last.

...frustrations in the Lord's work abound. Almost daily, I receive a phone call or email from God's servants pouring out tales of misunderstanding, harassment, strong opposition, and even persecution. Frequently, the man of God will say to me, "If this was coming from the world, I'd expect it. But these are the Lord's people doing this. It doesn't make sense."

Pastors reading this are shaking their heads. They know. Their biggest headaches come not from the tavern owners or casino managers, not from politicians or bigshot business types, and not from drug pushers and drunks. The men and women who sit in the pews and on church committees and boards tend to be the source of most headaches and heartbreaks of pastors. Only one called by God and who knows he serves the Living God, only he will last. And some of them, honesty forces me to admit sadly, don't make it.

8. Pastors are the point men for whatever is taking place in the church.

They receive the blame, they get the credit. Their phone number is on speed dial for most leaders of the church, particularly the ones with a gripe...Once in a while, as happened last week, a pastor will tell me his church is a dream job, that his people are wonderful, and that this is everything he ever hoped for in a congregation. I rejoice with him. In my spirit, I think, "But wait till you start making changes."

7. Pastors live in a world of unfinished tasks.

6. Pastors learn to function with people angry at them or they do not survive in ministry.

I have walked to the pulpit to deliver a sermon the Sunday after nearly half my deacons tried to get me fired.

I have stood there preaching while leaders met in the foyer to figure how to send me on my way. I have preached the gospel of Jesus Christ to people sitting with arms folded across their chests and facial scowls signaling they wanted no part of anything I had to share.

And I did it well. In fact, I venture to say my preaching on those occasions was better than normal. There's something exalting about knowing you are serving the Lord Jesus Christ and it's actually costing you something. We in this land have it so easy. Most of our people are so sweet and supportive. It can do us good to experience what Paul called "the fellowship of Christ's sufferings" (Philippians 3:10).

5. Pastors are not sent to make the church happy.

I submit that the typical pew-dweller thinks that since our congregations vote on whether to call ("hire") a man as pastor, and since his continued employment is always conditional upon the support of the membership, his number one goal should be to make the people happy.

Big mistake. A common one, to be sure.

To be sure, there are preachers who live by that dictate, that they will always have job security if they placate all disgruntled members and never do anything to rock the boat. They are a blight on the ministry and make things worse for the faithful. The Lord's servant is not sent to make the congregation happy. You will not find one single verse or even part of one saying otherwise. Instead, he is sent to make the people holy and healthy.

Yesterday, as I write, the endodontist up the street performed a root canal on one of my molars. I sat in his chair for 90 minutes, completely uncomfortable the entire time. At the end, my jaw numb, I handed his receptionist my debit card and watched as she withdrew from my checking account over a thousand dollars. This professional man and his staff are not there to make me happy. If they were, they'd be giving me the money instead of taking it from me. Instead, they exist to make me healthy. If your pastor does not make people unhappy from time to time--if he does not push and probe and provoke you, if he does not disturb and unsettle you occasionally--he is not being obedient to the One who sent him.

4. Pastors are sent to make the Lord happy.

The Person, the Living God who sent Him. "To his own master he stands or falls" (Romans 14:4). Paul said, "Do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ" (Galatians 1:10).

Our single prayer ought to be the one Paul offered up just outside Damascus when he first encountered the Living Christ: "What will you have me to do?" (Acts 22:10) Now, common sense says that when we please the Lord, the people around us who love the Lord and want His will above all else will likewise rejoice. But we must not confuse the two and think the pleasure of the people is the barometer of anything.

3. Pastors tend to be loners; they shouldn't be.

2. Pastors are as varied as the sands on the shore. No two are alike.

1. Pastors live by prayer the way the earth depends on sunlight, the grass counts on the rain, the baby needs its mother.

Even the great apostle said, "Pray for me" (Romans 15:30-32; Ephesians 6:18-19; Colossians 4:2-3; I Thessalonians 5:25; Philemon 22. See also Hebrews 13:18.)

If Paul needed prayer, and he did, how much more you and I require that God's people intercede for us. So, why is it then, preacher, that we almost apologetically ask our people to pray for us? Remember this line and teach it to your people: "Poor preaching is God's judgment on a prayerless congregation."

Read the whole thing here. Interact with his article. which things grabbed your attention? Why?

The Most Important Service

Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs--he wants to please his commanding officer. (2Timothy 2:3-4)

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. (1Corinthains 9:24-25)

My sister’s wedding is over. I have to say, I’m glad. Planning a wedding and executing the plan, while she was getting ready to deploy to the Middle East (4 ½ weeks from telling me to wedding day), was intense for all involved. In the time leading up to my sister Rebecca’s wedding; my home became grand central station for wedding planning. Rebecca and Brenton, who had been on the marriage track for awhile (stuck in that horrible saving for… everything-from ring to wedding-stage), decided that they should get married before my sister deploys to the Middle East. So in a matter of a few short weeks a wedding was planned. Understandably, allot of things still needed to get dealt with in the week leading up to the wedding.

However, as they were in the midst of wedding planning, something stood out to me; something that at first seemed odd, and eventually left me impressed. The wedding is not the most important thing in their life (especially his). The most important thing in is preparing for him to return to the military as a member of the Special Forces. He is in incredible, strict, focused training. He carefully monitors what he eats. He’s up at 5, working out. He’s at the gym twice a day, lifting, exercising, preparing. He runs with a rucksack filled with sand. On and on the list goes, because while the wedding is important; the most important thing in his life is being ready for a higher calling. And lest you think he is alone in this, Rebecca is in on this single-minded focus. Together they are aiming at this higher goal a reality. The wedding is important, but there are things that are even more important.

I found myself thinking about this in relationship to the Christian life. As Christians, we are called to a service that is greater than the U.S. Military. We serve the King of kings, and Lord of Lords, the One “who was, and is, and is to come”. And yet, often, our faith in Christ is treated like an add-on, rather than the thing that shapes and defines who we are and how we live. But if this is how one lives as they prepare for special forces and service to the nation, how much more focused should our preparation and lives be as we seek to be prepared to live for Christ? The rest of life is important, but some things are of the utmost importance and demand incredible focus.

Here’s the point. It’s a question that’s started to form in my mind as I’ve watched Brenton train. How is your life arranged? Is serving Christ the most important thing? Or are other things of the greatest priority? You were created for His Glory (Isaiah 43:7), and commanded to “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness” (Matthew 6:33). You were “called out of darkness and into his glorious light” (1 Peter 2:9) by the one who died the death you should have died. Can you see the cross, and is it driving you to grateful service to Christ?  And are you aimed at serving your commanding officer with your life shaped and molded by the gospel; or are you so involved in the day to day cares of this world that you find that you lose sight of the cross, and service to Christ is something you never get around to? Are you so busy that you never get around to training, preparing, growing? Ultimately, you can chase a crown that will not last, or you can seek the crown that will last forever. What is the aim of your life? And what are the things that are the greatest priorities in your life? Ponder this as you go about your week.

The wedding sermon cutting room floor

I'm performing my sisters wedding today. Here is a thought that I had to cut from the sermon. I find it helpful, I hope you do as well.

Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD. (Song of Solomon 8:6)

If you think about what a seal does, you’ll find this image profound. A seal does two things. It shapes, and it protects. First, it shapes, it reshapes. A seal is stamp, you take it, you pressed into hot wax that is covering the meeting point between two surfaces, and it leaves a mark in the wax. Love does that in our lives. Every now and then I’ll take my ring off, Veronique hates it when I do, but when I do, I’m reminded that it’s not there. It’s left a mark on my hand. A visible mark, but also, it’s changed the way my hand feels. If it’s off, I know it. Just a few months after we got married, I took my ring off, set it by the bedside table, and put on moisturizer, and then, in a rush, headed off to class. At some point, I went to raise my hand to ask a question, and I realized, it’s gone. It felt different. My hand felt different.

In marriage, the love that we have for each other, in relationship with Christ, the love that will hold your marriage together and causes a couple to hold fast to each other, reshapes us. It redefines how we approach things, how we think about things, how we go about every day, as it draws us deeper into relationship with each other and with Christ.

Repentance- The Key To Marriage Lasting

 My sister is getting married this weekend, and I'm performing the wedding. As I prepared for the wedding sermon,  I ran across a couple of profound and interesting quotes on marriage that every couple should remember.

“The key to a marriage is simply re-enacting the gospel to each other. You can talk about communication skills or other stuff, and they’re all good, but basically knowing how to forgive and knowing how to repent… If you both can forgive and repent, it doesn’t matter how different you are, you’ll be okay. Two Christians who are married can make it, no matter how incompatible… if you can repent and forgive.”

          Tim Keller, The Gospel Coalition National Conference, 2009.

“the most damaging statements that have ever been said about us are those things we have said about ourselves to ourselves. Many people have a never-ending loop of self-talk that berates them for being foolish, stupid, a failure, a loser. But now into your life comes someone who has the power to overturn all the accumulated verdicts that have ever been passed upon you by others or by you yourself. Marriage puts into your spouse’s hand a massive power to reprogram your own self-appreciation.”

          Tim Keller

Wow. Preach that to yourself on those days that your spouse is a heel. Better yet, preach it to yourself on the days that you are a heel.

Piper on Preaching: Bible-Oriented Preaching or Entertainment?

John Piper, released a new article on Sermoncentral.com on sermons entitled 'Bible-Oriented Preaching or Entertainment?' It caught my eye this morning. You find it here. It's worth the five minutes.

The Bible tethers us to reality. We are not free to think and speak whatever might enter our minds or what might be pleasing to any given audience—except God.

By personal calling and Scripture, I am bound to the word of God and to the preaching of what the Bible says. There are few things that burden me more or refresh me more than saying what I see in the Bible. I love to see what God says in the Bible. I love to savor it. And I love to say it.

I believe with all my heart that this is the way God has appointed for me not to waste my life. His word is true. The Bible is the only completely true book in the world. It is inspired by God. Rightly understood and followed, it will lead us to everlasting joy with him. There is no greater book or greater truth.

What does this mean for us? It means that the bible is the sole authority for life and faith. Piper goes on to give wise words about the implications of this for both the preacher and the listener. Scripture over church authority, and the need to press on to the task of preaching faithfully.

The implications of this for preaching are immense. John Calvin, with the other Reformers, rescued the Scriptures from their subordination to tradition in the medieval church. The Reformation, let us thank God, was the recovery of the unique and supreme authority of Scripture over church authority. Commenting on John 17:20, Calvin wrote,

Woe to the Papists who have no other rule of faith than the tradition of the Church. As for us, let us remember that the Son of God, who alone can and ought to pronounce in this matter, approves of no other faith but that which comes from the doctrine of the Apostles, of which we find no certain testimony except in their writings.  (Commentary on John)

Calvin’s preaching inspires me to press on with this great and glorious task of heralding the word of God. I feel what he says when he writes to Cardinal Sadoleto:

O Lord, you have enlightened me with the brightness of your Spirit. You have put your Word as a lamp to my feet. The clouds which before now veiled your glory have been dispelled by it, and the blessings of your Anointed have shone clearly upon my eyes. What I have learnt from your mouth (that is to say, from your Word) I will distribute faithfully to your church. (“Letter to Cardinal Jacopo Sadoleto,” quoted in J. H. Merle d’Aubigne, Let Christ Be Magnified, Banner of Truth, 2007, p. 13).*

For Calvin, preaching was tethered to the Bible. That is why he preached through books of the Bible so relentlessly. In honor of tethered preaching, I would like to suggest the difference I hear between preaching tethered to the word of God and preaching that ranges free and leans toward entertainment.

Which brings him to the difference between preachers who are tethered to (bound to)  the word, and those who are not. He calls it the difference between entertainment oriented, and bible oriented preaching. Notice it,

The difference between an entertainment-oriented preacher and a Bible-oriented preacher is the manifest connection of the preacher’s words to the Bible as what authorizes what he says.

The difference between an entertainment-oriented preacher and a Bible-oriented preacher is the manifest connection of the preacher’s words to the Bible as what authorizes what he says.

The entertainment-oriented preacher gives the impression that he is not tethered to an authoritative book in what he says. What he says doesn’t seem to be shaped and constrained by an authority outside himself. He gives the impression that what he says has significance for reasons other than that it manifestly expresses the meaning and significance of the Bible. So he seems untethered to objective authority.

The entertainment-oriented preacher seems to be at ease talking about many things that are not drawn out of the Bible. In his message, he seems to enjoy more talking about other things than what the Bible teaches. His words seem to have a self-standing worth as interesting or fun. They are entertaining. But they don’t give the impression that this man stands as the representative of God before God’s people to deliver God’s message.

The Bible-oriented preacher, on the other hand, does see himself that way—“I am God’s representative sent to God’s people to deliver a message from God.” He knows that the only way a man can dare to assume such a position is with a trembling sense of unworthy servanthood under the authority of the Bible. He knows that the only way he can deliver God’s message to God’s people is by rooting it in and saturating it with God’s own revelation in the Bible.

The Bible-oriented preacher wants the congregation to know that his words, if they have any abiding worth, are in accord with God’s words. He wants this to be obvious to them. That is part of his humility and his authority. Therefore, he constantly tries to show the people that his ideas are coming from the Bible. He is hesitant to go too far toward points that are not demonstrable from the Bible.

His stories and illustrations are constrained and reined in by his hesitancy to lead the consciousness of his hearers away from the sense that this message is based on and expressive of what the Bible says. A sense of submission to the Bible and a sense that the Bible alone has words of true and lasting significance for our people mark the Bible-oriented preacher, but not the entertainment-oriented preacher.

People leave the preaching of the Bible-oriented preacher with a sense that the Bible is supremely authoritative and important and wonderfully good news. They feel less entertained than struck at the greatness of God and the weighty power of his word.

Lord, tether us to your mighty word. Cause me and all preachers to show the people that our word is powerless and insignificant in comparison with yours. Grant us to stand before our people as messengers sent with God’s message to God’s people in God’s name by God’s Spirit. Grant us to tremble at this responsibility. Protect us from trifling with this holy moment before your people.

I echo that prayer. May I be a preacher that is tethered to the word, and may the people of First Baptist be people who hunger not for entertainment, but for the mighty, powerful, Word of God.

Blogging the bible: Bildad's desparate argument

Bildad pushes back into the fray in chapter 18, basically he says, “Why insult us? You can’t make yourself an exception to the rule: the wicked get punished. That’s what’s happening to you.

Note that that Bildad’s argument has a hint of desperation to it. It’s a denunciation more than a dialogue, and he begins to berate Job, telling him that there’s really no point in talking till Job comes to his senses. Job has said that Eliphaz and co are not wise, Bildad says, no Job, it’s you who’s not wise. It’s a debate that is descending in quality as emotions start to get hotter. From Bildad’s perspective, Job is worse than wrong: he is perverse or insane. He’s willing to overturn the very fabric of the universe to justify himself: “You who tear yourself in your anger, shall the earth be forsaken for you, or the rock be removed out of its place?

Note also that Bildad is determined to make Job see the horrible end of the wicked. The rest of the chapter is all about the fate of the wicked. “The light of the wicked is put out, and the flame of his fire does not shine…His strong steps are shortened, and his own schemes throw him down…For he is cast into a net by his own feet, and he walks on its mesh.” Bildad uses 6 Hebrew words for traps, more than in any other Old Testament passage. Whatever Job would do, Bildad says, would ultimately trap him. So Job would be terrified wherever he turned, which calamity following on him wherever and whenever he stumbles. Furthermore, in this he would suffer terrible agony. His skin would be consumed, Bildad says, referencing his skin problems. Furthermore, this is the worst of possible diseases (Diseases are deaths children, so the firstborn of death is a reference to the worst of these diseases). But that’s not the end. He would be taken from his tent, and subject to the king of terrors, i.e. death.  In the final tally, he would be cut off from the community, and be forgotten, “His memory perishes from the earth, and he has no name in the street,” he would die survivor less, as someone whose fate is appalling to people from every direction. This fate is a lesson for all around as to what happens to the wicked, Bildad thinks. The result is that all will learn see that “Surely such are the dwellings of the unrighteous, such is the place of him who knows not God.” Ultimately, what Bildad is saying is, “Job is not only wicked, but completely ignorant of God”. That’s why all this has happened. Since he refused to repent, how can he possibly be righteous, or know anything about God?” It’s the only conclusion he can come to.

What are we to make of all this. On one level, what Jobs friends are saying is completely in line with themes we find throughout scripture. God is just. Justice will be done and all will see that it is done. Someday, “ever knee will bow (Philippians 2)”; everyone will eventually be made to acknowledge that God is right—whether in the reverent submission of faith, or in the terror that cries for the rocks and the mountains to hide them from the wrath of the Lamb (Revelations 6). The theme is repeated time and again. And it must be. D.A. Carson observes that “The alternative to judgment is appalling: there is no final and perfect judgment, and therefore no justice, and therefore no meaningful distinction between right and wrong, between good and evil. Not to have judgment would be to deny the significance of evil. However, at the same time, if we apply this truth to quickly and freely, if we treat it as a mechanical cause and effect, and act as if we are omniscient and know all the facts, destroys the significance of evil from another angle. We rule out innocent suffering (as Jobs friends did). D.A. Carson notes that “To call a good man evil in order to preserve the system is not only personally heartless, but relativizes good and evil; it impugns God as surely as saying there is no difference between good and evil. Sometimes we must simply appeal to the mystery of wickedness. Carson is on to something. At times we must step back, and acknowledge that we don’t know all, we are not omniscient, we see but through a glass dimly, ultimately only God knows all, and we must be careful not to act is if we do.

Why the attack on the Catholic Church matters so much

Some of you have probably been paying attention to the Obama Administrations ordering Religious groups to go against their deeply held beliefs and bow to the government. At issue right now is the demand of the Government to pay for Abortions and Contraceptives through their insurance. While abortion is murder, contraceptives is something most Christians view as an open handed issue, and the Catholic church has come down against it. The Obama Administration has ordered them to bow. This is a big deal. Chuck Colson lays out why.

What's Really at Stake

Chuck Colson

Make no mistake. The raging controversy over the Obama administration’s refusal to exempt religious organizations from onerous health care mandates is a big deal. A very big deal.

But why? What’s really at issue here?

Despite what the media and the Obama administration are telling you, it’s not just a battle between the so-called “archaic beliefs” of the Catholic church on the one hand and advocates of women’s health on the other. It’s not just about access to abortion-inducing drugs, contraception, and sterilization, bad as that is.
And it’s even more than a battle over religious freedom. I have to say, the Obama administration’s move boggles the mind. What part of “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof ...” does the administration not understand?

There is no way this outrage would survive if it has to get to the courts. And I’m grateful to see lawmakers in Congress on both sides working together to reverse the decision. Let’s hope they can succeed.

I’m even more gratified to see people of faith rallying against this violation of religious liberty. I’ve heard from ministers, rabbis, even Muslims, outraged at this threat.

That’s a point that Cardinal Donald Wuerl, archbishop of Washington, D.C., Rabbi Dr. Meir Soloveichik of Yeshiva University, and I make together in today’s Wall Street Journal. As we say in our opinion piece, a Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew can all agree that “under no circumstances should people of faith violate their consciences and discard their most cherished religious beliefs in order to comply with a gravely unjust law.” Come to BreakPoint.org, and we’ll link you to our Wall Street Journal article.

So why in the world would the administration brush off the Bill of Rights and antagonize people of faith — maybe 80 percent of the U.S. population?
Because what’s really at stake here is whether or not there is any limit to government power.

That’s the point made by Daniel Henninger in his excellent piece yesterday, also in the Wall Street Journal.  “The American Catholic Church,” he writes, “is now being handed a lesson in the hierarchy of raw political authority.”

But the question for all of us, Henninger writes, “is whether anyone can remain free of a U.S. government determined to do what it wants to do, at whatever cost.”
Friends, the answer to that question depends on whether we the people, and especially we Christians and people of all faiths will rise up and say, “Enough! You may not intrude on our religious beliefs, you may not prohibit us from living out our faith.”

I have said before, now is the time to speak out — and to remain vigilant in the face of the government’s enormous appetite for power over the lives and liberties of its citizens. What’s really at stake is whether we will continue to be a free country.

Colson has a great Open Letter to Evangelical Christians that every member of First Baptist should check out. 

Here are some of the highlights. 

The issue,

As you probably know by now, Obama Administration has refused to grant religious organizations an exemption from purchasing health insurance that covers abortion-inducing drugs, surgical sterilization, and contraception. The Catholic bishops in America have responded quickly, decrying the Administration's decision for what it is—an egregious, dangerous violation of religious liberty—and mobilizing a vast grassroots movement to persuade the Administration to reverse its decision. We evangelicals must stand unequivocally with our Roman Catholic brothers and sisters. Because when the government violates the religious liberty of one group, it threatens the religious liberty of all.

Many bishops have already declared that they will not obey this unjust law. The penalty for such a move would be severe. Catholic hospitals, universities, and other organizations would be forced to pay punitive fines ($2,000 per employee) for refusing to purchase insurance that violates the teaching of their church.

For some institutions, it would spell the end of their existence—and their far-reaching service to the public and the needy.

The implications for this run well beyond the Catholic church,

Catholic institutions aren't the only ones affected by this mandate. Prison Fellowship, for example, which employs 180 people, could not purchase insurance for its employees that covers abortifacients. Nor could the world's largest Christian outreach to prisoners and their families afford the fines we would incur..

 The stakes,

We would urge you, therefore, to raise your voice against this unjust mandate that violates our first freedom as Americans. . . . We do not exaggerate when we say that this is the greatest threat to religious freedom in our lifetime. We cannot help but think of the words attributed to German pastor Martin Niemoeller, reflecting on the Nazi terror:

First they came for the Socialists, and I
did not speak out —
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists,
and I did not speak out —
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did
not speak out — Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me — and there was
no one left to speak for me.

Denny Burke has some great insights in his post, It's not just a Catholic thing.

Penny Nancy Young has a good article on this issue as well entitled, We are all Catholics now.

Donald Wuerl, Colson, and Meir Y. Solovechik have a powerful article in the Wall Street Journal as well, entitled, United we stand for Religious Freedom..

Here's the question. When our turn comes, will we bow the knee to Caesar? I hope we will be able to echo these words of Warren and Colsen, who write, respectively, 

Rick Warren:

I’m not a Catholic but I stand in 100% solidarity with my brothers & sisters to practice their belief against govt pressure [...]
I’d go to jail rather than cave in to a government mandate that violates what God commands us to do. Would you? Acts 5:29.

Chuck Colson:

We have come to the point—I say this very soberly—when if there isn’t a dramatic change is circumstances, we as Christians may well be called upon to stand in civil disobedience against the actions of our own government. That would break my heart as a former Marine Captain loving my country, but I love my God more. . . . I’ve made up my mind—sober as that decision would have to be—that I will stand for the Lord regardless of what my state tells me.

Piper on Preaching

John Piper is one of my spirutal hero's, and one of the men who has shaped my thinking on preaching. Here is an article that he put up recently on churchleaders.com about preaching.

He writes powerfully,

Some of you may have little or no experience with what I mean by preaching. What I mean by preaching is expository exultation.

Preaching Is Expository

Expository means that preaching aims to exposit, or explain and apply, the meaning of the Bible. The reason for this is that the Bible is God’s word, inspired, infallible, profitable—all 66 books of it. The preacher’s job is to minimize his own opinions and deliver the truth of God. Every sermon should explain the Bible and then apply it to people's lives. The preacher should do that in a way that enables you to see that the points he is making actually come from the Bible. If you can’t see that they come from the Bible, your faith will end up resting on a man and not on God's word.

The aim of this exposition is to help you eat and digest biblical truth that will

• make your spiritual bones more like steel,
• double the capacity of your spiritual lungs,
• make the eyes of your heart dazzled with the brightness of the glory of God,
• and awaken the capacity of your soul for kinds of spiritual enjoyment you didn’t even know existed.

Preaching Is Exultation

Preaching is also exultation. This means that the preacher does not just explain what’s in the Bible, and the people do not simply try to understand what he explains. Rather, the preacher and the people exult over what is in the Bible as it is being explained and applied. Preaching does not come after worship in the order of the service. Preaching is worship. The preacher worships—exults—over the word, trying his best to draw you into a worshipful response by the power of the Holy Spirit. My job is not simply to see truth and show it to you. (The devil could do that for his own devious reasons.) My job is to see the glory of the truth and to savor it and exult over it as I explain it to you and apply it for you. That’s one of the differences between a sermon and a lecture.

Preaching Isn't Church, but It Serves the Church

Preaching is not the totality of the church. And if all you have is preaching, you don’t have the church. A church is a body of people who minister to each other. One of the purposes of preaching is to equip us for that and inspire us to love each other better. But God has created the church so that she flourishes through preaching. That’s why Paul gave young pastor Timothy one of the most serious, exalted charges in all the Bible in 2 Timothy 4: 1-2:

I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word.

What to Expect from My Preaching and Why

If you're used to a twenty-minute, immediately practical, relaxed talk, you won't find that from what I've just described.

• I preach twice that long;
• I do not aim to be immediately practical but eternally helpful;
• and I am not relaxed.

I stand vigilantly on the precipice of eternity speaking to people who this week could go over the edge whether they are ready to or not. I will be called to account for what I said there. That's what I mean by preaching.